Astral plane

How cool would it be to speak the French language?

Caught a couple Seinfeld episodes tonight.  Yada-yada-yada.

I get my hair cut at a barber shop.  It is old school in there.  Womanless.  They had
The Rockford Files playing on an 20 year old TV.  $9.50 in case your wondering.

My Dad's middle name was Leroy.

When we moved from PA to WI we brought the Tomcat we kept outside.  He had to move
inside because we live around a million houses and it's the rules.  I'd let him out occasionally
without much thought of it.  Apparently it was like Disney World to him because he was a
killing machine.  Came home one day after work and found about every type of animal/rodent
that inhabits the city strewn across the yard.  Rabbits cut in half, squirrels beat to a pulp, moles,
chipmunks, you name it in tatters.

I told the kids he had to live with someone else.

I've told this story.  Running real early through the neighborhood (a million homes) in Florida real early one morning.  There was a van parked on the curb to my left.  This weiner dog decided to be a hero that day and tried to stealth attack me in the dark.  He flew of the porch w/o making a noise, sprinted under the van and was just about ready to harsh my mellow.  He didn't count on two things.  I saw him and I'm a lefty.  Without breaking stride I timed my booting mechanism, set the Kentucky windage, and planted right underneath him.  He launched about 20 feet a$$ over tin cup.  He was fine, but he always watched me go by after that.  I don't blame him, if I was a dog I'd have the same mentality.  I wonder how he remembered it?

When my brother and I first had ten speed bikes they had a little odometer down by the wheel.  We rode 40 miles around the Church parking lot just to watch the miles turn.

My Mom claimed she was never beat by a boy in a foot race until she was in high school.

My Grandma is 98.  When we tell her that she says, "There is no way, I've seen people that old and their all wrinkly."

My daughter is her 30th great-grandchild.  I am the 10th oldest of 26 grand kids.  I wonder how many she has now?

My cousin Gail set the girl's high jump school record in 79'.  Her oldest daughter beat the record in 09'.  Her youngest daughter beat it this year.  How cool is that?

I once ate 63 chicken wings...we ran out.

They always say it's darkest before the dawn.  If this is true, then that's the best time to steal your neighbor's newspaper.